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Specializing In Family Law Litigation And Mediation

Social media and divorce: Just say no

No one thinks that going through a divorce is easy. Dreams and expectations about your life and your future are suddenly shattered--and healing from that takes time, energy and a commitment to do so. It’s not surprising, too, that some wounds never heal, we just learn to live with them.

Our kids, however, are not part of that equation. Dad is dad and Mom is mom regardless of how they might have treated the other spouse. While it’s natural and healthy to vent your frustration and hurt, social media is not the place to do it.

How social media can doom your divorce

Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat. What do these three have in common? It’s not just that they are social media platforms, it’s that those platforms can de-rail your divorce. The courts are made of people and, of course, those people know that divorce is hard. They do not, however, take kindly to parents who wittingly or unwittingly denigrate their soon-to-be-ex on social media.

Let’s look at them both. First, What you post on the internet stays on the internet. Deleted it and think it’s gone? Think again. Webpages are cached, and a quick search on various sites such as the Wayback Machine can turn up that post with embarrassing pictures or colorful comments about your ex. Do you really want your kids stumbling on those?

Second, courts want you to parent together. Why? Because it benefits your kids. Nearly every state now has laws that, absent a history of abuse or criminal activity, presume parents should have some sort of split-custody arrangement. It’s in the best interests of the children and it is a standard that the court must uphold. If you are posting negative or hostile comments about your almost-former spouse, the court may question your ability to co-parent, and could award sole custody to your ex.

Best served cold

Vengeance is, as they say, a dish best served cold. What that means, is think before you post. No one expects you to be perfect; they do, however, expect you to be appropriate. That means that there is a time and place for your healing.

Anger is one of the necessary stages of grief. Resolving it is essential to your well-being. Choosing the right venue for that is critical. Not just now, but for the sake of your future—and your children’s.

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